I just realized, it's been over a month since my last journal entry, and about two months since I've posted anything. I have been drawing though. I just haven't scanned anything in

I found out something amazing today... and I mean really amazing. Alive and Jafax are both happening this June, and I thought they were the same weekend. But they're NOT! Alive is June 17 - 20 and Jafax is June 27 - 28. Which means I don't have to choose... I can go to BOTH! Seriously, I haven't been this excited and happy in a really, really long time.

okay, so I wasn't actually tagged, but I like doing these so I stole it from

-----------• × • A L L | A B O U T | M E • × •--------------

- Name: Corinna
- Single or taken: taken ^^
- Gender: female
- Birthday: September 21
- Sign: virgo / dragon
- Hair color: blonde, sometimes blue
- Eye color: blue
- Height: 5'4"
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: straight

-----------• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •--------------

- Favorite place to shop for clothes?: walmart, clearance racks XD I'm poor
- Favorite designer?: ... me?
- What is your sexiest outfit?: XD wait what?
- What is your most comfortable outfit?: my pajamas ^^
- What do you usually wear?: clothes, preferably the one's in my closet

--------------• × • S P E C I F I C S • × • -------------------

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: suave, it's cheap ^^
- What are you listening to right now?: my dad watching the news
- Who is the last person that called you?: Kurtis, after he got home yesterday
- How many buddies are online right now?: none

-------------• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •-----------------

- Food?: meat XD, cheese, rice, strawberries
- Girls names?: >_> ... I like my name XD
- Boys names?: Darius
- Subjects in school?: art, animation
- Animals?: dragons and penguins XD

----------------• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •-------------

- Given anyone a bath?: does giving myself one count?
- Smoked?: only when I set myself on fire ^^ ... so no
- Bungee jumped?: XD no, that would be terrifying
- Made yourself throw up?: no
- Skinny dipped?: only in my bath tub
- Ever been in love?: yeah ^^
- Actually seen your crush naked?: umm, no, that would be creepy
- Cried when someone died?: no
- Lied: D8 of course not! ... yeah, that was a lie >_>
- Fallen for your best friend?: haha, yeah
- Rejected someone?: not that I know of XD
- Used someone?: maybe... probably, but I don't remember
- Done something you regret?: nope ^^ I usually forget things right after I do them

------------• × • C U R R E N T • × •--------------

- Clothes: black tank top, gray shirt/vest thing, brownish/grayish pants covered in lines, and pink socks that I wore yesterday XD
- Desktop picture: severely photoshoped picture of Kurtis and me holding hands
- CD in player: I think Family Force 5 is still in there from new years
- DVD in player: Wall-E

----------------• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •----------------------

- You touched: Kurtis, when he kissed me last night ^^
- Hugged: either Kurtis or Aleshia
- You IMed: Kurtis
- Talk to online: again, Kurtis XD


---------------• × • A R E | Y O U • × •---------------------

- Understanding: sometimes, usually not
- Open-minded: I think so
- Arrogant: no
- Insecure: heck yes XD
- Random: haha... yeah
- Hungry: almost never
- Smart: nope ^^
- Moody: sometimes XD
- Organized: not at all
- Shy: very, very shy XD
- Difficult: not really
- Bored easily: not as long as I have my drawing stuff
- Obsessed: sometimes >_>
- Angry: XD never
- Sad: only when I'm lonely
- Happy: usually
- Hyper: if I'm with my friends, then yes
- Trusting: only if I know you

---------• × • W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A • × •--------

- Kill?: D8 no one!
- Slap?: your face ^^
- Get really wasted with?: O_o no one, this is a dumb question
- Talk to offline: Necole! >_< ... and Kurtis
- Talk to online: Kurtis

------------------• × • R A N D O M • × •---------------------

- In the morning I: should be sleeping, but college is making me wake up early -_-
- Love is: really fun XD
- I dream about: people killing me >_>
- What do you notice first in the gender you're into: ... that they're male?

---------------• × • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R • × ---------------

- Coke or Pepsi: mountain dew
- Flowers or candy: candy, flowers die and you can't eat them
- Tall or short: tall

---------------• × • W H O • × • ---------------

- Makes you laugh the most: Necole
- Makes you smile: Kurtis
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: wait, good funny feeling or bad? good - Kurtis, bad - creepy stalkers

--------------• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •-----------------

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: not all night, and I usually read manga while I wait
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: haha, sometimes
- Wish you were younger: always XD
- Cry because someone said something to you?: >_> yeah... a lot

-----------• × • N U M B E R • × •--------------

- Of times I have had my heart broken: none! ^^
- Of guys I've kissed: 1
- Of girls I've kissed: on the lips - 0, on the face - more than I can remember XD
- Of CD's I own: ... not many
- Of scars on my body: 4, but they're really hard to see

but merry christmas and happy new year!

I promised you guys that my next journal would be happy, so here you go ^^

Christmas was good. We woke up early and opened presents. I got...
- a digital camera (I've been taking pictures like crazy, but they're all on my facebook)
- a printer/scanner/copier (for my still-dead computer XD)
- a couple video games, kingdom hearts (yes, the first one) and dark cloud 2 (which is way more fun than the first dark cloud)
- a gas card from my sister ^^

We didn't really do much, but it was a fun day. That Saturday I went over to ~scarecrow5's to have Christmas with his family. They had chinese 8D and I actually got more presents there than I did on christmas XD

New years was slightly hectic. We spent most of the day trying to figure out where we were even gonna be XD. We were gonna go over to ~Ne-col-e's but they already had too many people, so we ended up in my basement, which is not a very good place to have a party. I don't really know if everyone had fun or not, I hope they did, but it was definitely better than staying home alone like I did last year. We did get some good quotes though, which you can read here - [link]

And because I promised her that I'd put it in my journal - as we were on our way to pick up ~scarecrow5 and Adam, ~a-broken-soul was looking through her bag... and pulled out a tangerine... and she doesn't know how it got there. It sounds dumb, and probably was, but we were both really hyper and laughed about it all the way to ~scarecrow5's house.

Just to warn you, I'll be complaining about various things throughout this journal. There's a few things that have been bothering me lately, and I just feel like complaining. So, to anyone actually reading this, I'm sorry, I'll try to be happier next time.

So, my sister, Jackie, moved to California a couple years ago. Well, when she moved, she didn't sell her house. She rented it. The family that was renting it moved out a couple weeks ago and they completely destroyed the house. All the walls have to be repainted, the carpet replaced, ceiling tiles replaced, blinds replaced, and there's a broken window in the basement. It all has to be fixed and cleaned before she can sell it. And she's still in California, so it's up to my parents to deal with it. Well, my parents wanted to save money, so instead of hiring people to fix everything, we're doing it ourselves. Which sucks. Every single night, we go over there, and we don't get home until about 9:30. And I hate it. There's absolutely nothing I can do about. And I hate it.

I've also been trying, for the past four months, to get a job. I've put in applications everywhere I can think of, had a few interviews, and still can't get a job. I had one store that called and canceled my interview, and I didn't get the message until I was getting ready to leave. I even tried volunteering at a local charity, but I can't even get them to call me back. I'm offering to work for FREE, and I still can't get a job. Of course that's probably for the best anyways, since I don't even have enough money to put gas in my car right now. I'm making some money by making fleece hats and having Aleshia sell them at her school. But I don't get a lot of time to work on them because I'm over at Jackie's every night. (By the way, they're $7 if anyone's interested. I don't have any pictures yet, but I'll post them as soon as I do.)

I'm also trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for college next year. I'm going to a community college right now for free, but I'm also on my third year and it's a two year college. I want to go to an art college in Georgia and study animation, but it's expensive, and I have no money. I've been trying to look for scholarships, but that's going even worse than my job search, and I couldn't write a decent essay if my life depended on it.

So, we came home from working at Jackie's the other night, and there was a message on the answering machine. It was for me... from the army. It was just a random recruiting call, but my mom heard it. And now she won't shut up about enlisting me. Now, for those of you who have never met me before, I'm very small, and weak, and quiet. I can't run, I can't yell, and I avoid confrontation at all costs. I wouldn't even make it through basic training. My mom has been talking to Jackie about it (Jackie used to be in the air force), and she seems to think I'll do fine. But Jackie hasn't really seen me since I was 11, she doesn't even know me anymore. When my mom told my dad about it and he just sat there and laughed, which is exactly what I did, until we found out she was serious. Now, the one thing about this that really makes me mad, is that I remember what it was like when Jackie joined. What it was like for my mom when she left for basic, how my mom would cry and worry every time she got deployed (to places like England, and Guam, and Hawaii), how happy she was when her six years where done. But all it took was one message on our machine from the army, and she can't wait to ship me off to the war. Gee, I feel loved.

But the big thing, the reason I'm even writing this journal, is this. My mother has made a habit of informing me, every chance she gets, that I need to find a job, that I need to find a way to pay for college, that I need to do something with my life. Tonight, after I told her there was no way she was ever going to get me into the military, she went off on one her rants again. It lasted for a good 15 minutes. And it mostly consisted of her telling me that I was worthless. That my life was worthless. Along with every reason of why it was worthless. It's taken a lot of practice, and a little bit of therapy, but I've gotten pretty good at blocking her out when she says stuff like that. But about half an hour later, I was standing in the bathroom, brushing my teeth, and she walks by and tells me she was thinking about what she said. She asked me if I knew that, when she said I was worthless, she didn't mean that I shouldn't be alive. I couldn't believe it, she was actually making sure that I wasn't thinking about killing myself! As if I'd ever kill myself because of her. Because honestly, if I was ever going to kill myself for that reason, I would have been dead years ago.

And on top of all that... my mp3 player stopped working today T_T